Sunday, April 20, 2014

Why motivational articles often have the opposite effect on me.

Recently I saw an article on TIME titled '7 things the most interesting people all have in common' by Eric Barker. 
 I do not normally read such articles, but became curious to see if I had anything in common with this particular species of human kind. Apparently not!

Look at this: First, Don’t Be Boring. 
Eric says, we’re all terrible at realizing when we bore others because, well, we all think we’re just fascinatingAnd adds, If you’re always to the point and stay upbeat, it’s extremely hard for anyone to accuse you of being poor company.

I should have given up at this point.  I know this will never work for me, as I can never get a word edgewise and if I do manage the other person just walks away smiling at some nondescript fellow as if he was his long-lost friend!

2) The Most Captivating People Are Often Good Listeners. People love to talk about themselves and there are a dearth of good listeners.
Really? I should then have been the most captivating guy on earth. . But it does not happen. No one cares to impress me! 

3) Talk About The Other Person’s Interests.  This again does not happen easily. The person, assuming he stays long enough, acts as if I am prying into his or her affairs.
Some times I  switch off as all they talk about is how much money they have made and how some silly accidental purchase made years ago has made them rich! And when I try telling them how my well researched investment is now not even worth the paper it was printed on, they loose interest and look for other company.
4) Have Three Good Stories. 
Oh not again! I guess I could mug them up and give it a try. But not too sure if I will succeed.  Unless of course I corner them with no routes for escape,
Eric also says that People are generally more interested in stories about people rather than things. I guess I could try and pick up some gossip :-). Please, please will some one be patient, not get bored and give some juicy pieces of gossip?
5) Don’t Forget Charisma. Voice tone and body language are far more important. Laugh. Smile. Be passionate. Gesture. Modulate your voice. Don’t just sweat the words. 
This is a totally unfair demand. If I had charisma, I probably would not be reading this kind of motivational stuff.
6) Be Somewhere Interesting.  Research shows excitement from any source is often associated with the person you’re with — even if they’re not the cause of it.
I wonder if I am going round in circles. Who is there willing to bear with this un-charismatic dull me ?
7) And Most Importantly: Live An Interesting Life.  The groups you associate with often determine the type of person you become.
 Come on this is too much to expect. I give up! Who is out there willing to tolerate the company of a boring quiet person?

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